Finally, the blog is up, what with all its imperfections. Some missing pages, many broken links, unbalanced layout, etc. But I feel inspired to write my first blog entry. Mostly, I'm feeling a lot of appreciation for my friend, Ikeda-kun, who's not only helped me put my website together, but also patiently and quietly sat next to me for hours, listening, thinking, and teaching me. Although it seems like the fruit of our labour and his patience is the launching of the website itself, for me the website is only an immense windfall of the time spent together. What I am left with is a deep warmth in my heart.

If I stay with that feeling long enough, I see that it reaches a place where the heart is ever so lightly quivering in a familiar posture, isolated and alone. Quivering from the possibility of opening to receive such unfamiliar attention and expression of love given to me. What if this isn't real? What if it doesn't last? What if it won't be offered again? These seem to be the statements held in that energetic tension.

As I give myself time to experience this process, the quivering dissipates, softness fills my chest area and I don't feel the contours of my heart. It's as if it's blended into my chest and become one with it.

What an unexpected little journey writing this entry took me on. This is what a good therapy session feels like. I know that to be true. Thank you, Ikeda-kun. Thank you.